A Need for Control

I am a control freak.  I like to be in control of most situations.

The past two years have been very humbling for me, and it's opened my eyes to the fact that there are many things in my I simply can't control.  For one, my husband and I really wanted to start a family.  We tried and tried and TRIED to get pregnant, to no avail.  We sought treatment and still didn't get pregnant.  There was nothing I did to affect my fertility, and there was nothing I could do to get pregnant.  It wasn't up to me, and I became painfully aware of that.  During that dark time in my life, I realized that I needed to try to focus my energy on the things I could control.  If I worried about absolutely everything that I had absolutely no control over, I'd go crazy. 

The reason I bring this up is, my entire work department is doing Weight Watchers together.  This is my bosses 3rd time through the program, and she has only lost a total of 5 pounds in a year, and is wondering why she isn't having better success.  She and I had a meeting the other day, and she asked me how I had the discipline to follow the program?

I've been thinking about that question long and hard ever since I was asked.  And the truth is, is I am enjoying being in control of my own weight.  I fully realize that I will never be a size 0.  I will most likely never weigh less than 140 pounds.  But I can control that I'll never be overweight again.  I can make sure I never again weight in the 170's, or let alone in the 160s. (Which is where I'm at now) I can make sure I never go over a size 10. I can make sure I never show up as overweight on the BMI charts.  These are things I can control. . . assuming I don't have any health issues that is.

I LIKE being in control.  Love it in fact!  I can't control much in my life, but I can control the bulge.  As long as I eat as well as I have for the past 4 weeks, I CAN have the body size I deserve.  That right there is too good for me to fall apart now.  I WILL stick to this.