2nd Weigh In

I was more nervous for this weigh in than I was for the first.  You see, my husband and I were out of town all weekend.  We went on a SUPER DATE, something we haven't done since we had children.  We spent the weekend in NYC, eating delicious food and sipping delicious wine.  You see my concern, right?

Well, weigh in went better than expected.  Here are week 3 results.

Weight: 167.2
BMI: 24.7 (Normal Range!!!)

I have lost a total of 6.2 pounds, and I'm feeling great!  I decided weekly pictures are a bit much, so instead, I will do monthly pictures to see if I can tell a difference in my weight loss. 

I learned  lot this week.  One, I WILL mess up sometimes.  I just will. But my mess ups are not nearly as "messy" as they used to be.  And something else I learned is that if I keep moving daily, I'm allowed to have a snack here and there, and that's okay. 

I also realize that my weight loss is starting very rapidly, and chances are, it is going to taper off sooner than later.  And sometimes I look at my overall goal, and I feel like this snail's pace isn't working for me.  But. . . I just have to keep going on this.  I need to consistently lose weekly, and before I know it, I'll be looking in the mirror at the person I know I was meant to be. 

1st Weigh In

Today I was very anxious for that weigh in.  For the most part, I stuck to the plan for the weight.  And at times, I felt like I was going back to my old self.  My biggest weakness remains alcohol.  I can't help it. . . I like a glass of wine after work, or a beer with my spicy Indian food. 

There was no need to be nervous.  Drumroll please. . .

I managed to lose exactly 4 pounds this week!!!

Current Weight
169.4
Current BMI
25

So, I am almost in that "normal" BMI range.  Not that I place too much on BMI.

I feel good though.  I feel like I'm on the right track! :)

Week 1

This is a picture of me (sans head) on the first day of the rest of my life.

Okay, that sounds dramatic, but I see this picture and am filled with self loathing.  Is this how I look?  Is this what I have become?  The camera doesn't lie, right?

Tomorrow is another weight watchers meeting and another weigh in.  I'm a little nervous as although I started this on Tuesday of last week, I didn't change eating habits until Wednesday.  So, I lost a day.  But, I'm still going strong, and of course I made a mistake here and there, but for the most part, I'm on track!

Weight Watchers has Begun

Yesterday I walked into my first Weight Watchers meeting.  I didn't know what to think.  I didn't know if I would feel judgment.  The first step of the meeting was to step on the scale.

173.4

Not as bad as I thought it would be.  Afterall, for the past month, I've been indulging in chocolate, chips, soda, wine, beer, and everything else that tastes really good!  Afterall, for the past month, I've been painfully aware that I needed to lose weight, and I wanted to go out with a bang!!!

I'll take 173.4.  I'll take it.

The Weight Watchers meeting was great.  And I truly felt no judgment.  I actually felt a sort of commoradory. There were people there with much more weight to lose than me.  And there were a couple people there that I thought looked great.  And perhaps they are just maintaining at this point.  Who knows.

All I know is that the meeting fired me up.  I'm ready for this! I know I can do this! And as I sit at my desk, drinking my DIET Mt. Dew and eating my rice cakes (where just yesterday it was regular Mt. Dew and a Snickers bar) I know that aoo I have to do is repeat this behavior for the next. . . I don't know. . . 90 days.  And if I do repeat the god habits I've been practicing for the past few hours, I could lose the 30 pounds I want to.

GAME ON!!!

How Does One Get Here?

We all get to our point of being overweight for different reasons.

Some of us are born to overweight parents, and live a life of being overweight.

Some of us don't become overweight until adulthood, and that's where I fit in. 

I have naturally thin genes.   Both my parents are thin and fit people, who still bike 10 miles a day.  All of my siblings are thin.  I used to be thin too.  Thin with no effort.  The best kind of thin there is.  (or perhaps I should say the easiest kind of thin there is. 

I think we use food as a substitute for other things.  I think all of us do this.  My weight started packing on when my best friends in college all moved away, leaving me as a senior in college, pretty much friendless.  Needing to start over.  And previously to this, I had ended a 3 year relationship with a boy. A relationship that needed to end, a relationship I'm grateful I had the strength to end, but it still left me feeling. . . empty.

The weight starting coming on gradually.  A few pounds here, a few pounds there.  And before I knew it, I was wearing mostly 10's, and an occassional 8.  Okay, I know to some, that doesn't seem large.  But I think we all have the perfect weight for our frame.  I am 5 feet, 9 inches tall, and my healthy weight range is anywhere from 135 to 169.  I weight 173.4.  Yes. . . I'm overweight.  Yes. . . I'm not morbidly obse, but I am not at my best weight.  My knees hurt.  My back hurts.  I'm simply carrying too much weight.

Life went on. . . I continued to gain weight.  I married a great man.  We tried to have children.  It didn't work. I did infertility treatment and gained weight from that.  Treatment didn't work.  I eventually got pregnant all on my own and also adopted a child.  I never lost the baby weight.  And here I am.  5 feet, 9 inches tall, and over 170 pounds.

For almost 10 years, I've lived a life unhappy with my weight.  I've started a lifestyle change here and there (I refuse to diet) and sometimes I would lose a few pounds, but I'd never stick to it.

Things must change.  They just must. 

A Little About Myself

I was born naturally thin. 

Okay, who is really born thin?  Well, you know what I mean.  Growing up, I was skinny.  Lanky.  Petite.  And not by choice.  I ate everything, and not in moderation.  My favorite grouping was an ice cold regular Mt. Dew with a big bag of nacho cheese doritos.  I consumed this favorite snack several times a day.  I didn't hold back ever.

Growing up, I would often get the comments that this would catch up with me.  But there I was, an 18 year old, graduating from high school, and wearing a size 4 and a size 6.  I was consuming way too many calories a day, but I was playing sports two hours a day, so I was able to maintain my slim frame. 

Then college happened to me.

I actually managed to stay thin my first 3 years of college.  I didn't wear many size 4's anymore, but I did fit comfortably into a 6 and sometimes an 8, and that was okay with me.

Then my senior year of college happened.  I had experienced a few heartbreaking experiences at the end of my junior year and I was filled with  huge void in my heart.  And what did I fill this void with?  Food of course!

And for the past 10 years, the weight has crept up on me.  And I'm done with it.  I'm done with being heavy. I need to look in the mirror and like what I see.  It's been way too long.  I NEED that.  And now is the time.  10 years s long enough to have body image issues.  To be carrying extra weight. My size 10's are now getting a big snug, and I refuse to ever wear a 12.  Just refuse.

So, I started this blog.  A blog that I hope will give me some accountability.  I blog where I will talk about my current weight.  Show pictures of the progress, and really work hard to get back into a 6.  (Yes. . . I've thrown the hopes of wearing 4's out the window) 

I've realized I CANNOT do this alone.  So, today I will attend my first Weight Watcher's Meeting, which I hope will also provide me with accountability. 

Here begins the weight loss journey.