13th Weigh In

Current Weight = 151
Total Weight Loss = 22.4 pounds

I'm still losing weight, but I'm also losing steam.  I don't know what my problem is.  When I first set out on this weight loss goal, I showed up the first day at my weight watchers meeting thinking that I would like to be about 135 pounds to 140 pounds.  Realistically, I didn't even know what that looked like.  I probably haven't been that weight since I was 17 or 18 years old and a high school student.  But about 30 pounds sounded like a great goal to me, and I decided 140 sounded like a good, round number.

I have really stuck to the plan, and I keep losing weight, which is great.  Now all of a sudden (okay, it wasn't THAT sudden) have lost more than 22 pounds.  I weight 151 pounds, I'm wearing mostly size 6 pants, and the size 8's that I do own, are mostly too large.  About halfway through this session, I decided that perhaps 145 was a more realistic weight, and I decided that I would look good at that weight.  So, 145 became THE goal weight.  Yes, only 6 more pounds.

But at about this time, I totally lost motivation.  Most days, I'm eating poorly, yet I'm sticking to the plan enough times during the week that I'm able to maintain.  I continue to receive compliments from people I pass in the halls of work, telling me how thin I look.  My family members keep commenting on my thinness. My husband, my boss, etc.  And this is where the lack of motivation comes from.  I'm sitting here at 151, trying to figure out if THIS should be my weight?  At this weight, I have a very healthy BMI, I mostly feel good about my appearance.  A big part of me just doesn't have the motivation to keep going.  Would I feel EVEN BETTER 5 pounds lighter?   I would.  I really would.  But when so many people are saying I'm thin, sometimes this just feels good enough. 

I have a weigh in today, and I'm expecting a gain of a minimum of a pound.  I really went crazy this week, and to top it off, I had a big family celebration yesterday that involved pizza and cake, and I guess you could say I indulged.  But I also have a renewed sense of focus, and this week, my goal is to stay strictly on the plan, and to try to go for those extra few pounds. 

In my dream world, I would never see 150 on the scale again, and would always stay below that.  Now I just have to dig deep within to make that a reality.

12th Weigh In

I am officially in slow weight loss mode.  Perhaps it's my body's way of telling me that it likes this weight.  Or perhaps the more I lose, the harder I have to work to lose more.  Not sure what's going on.  All I know is that as my goal gets closer, losing weight gets harder.  MUCH MUCH harder.

Weight Lost This Week:  1 pound
Current Weight: 151
Current BMI: 22.3
Total Weight Lost: 22.2 pounds

WEIGHT LEFT TO GOAL WEIGHT = 6.2 POUNDS

The truth is is that I'm just happy to have lost weight this week.  After last week's shocker and disappointment of gaining .2 pounds, I really really wanted to lose.  Again, my weekends, I overeat, and then I try to undereat to make up for it on the rest of the days.  Unfortunately this leaves me feeling hungry and deprived the majority of the time.

I also made the decision today to rejoin weight watchers.  My plan was to do it once, and then take the tools I needed and live the rest of my life a thinner and happier me.  Well, guess what?  I realized that isn't a reality.  I have worked too hard and lost too much to gain it all back.  So, I will rejoin weight watchers with the hope of becoming a Lifetime Member very soon

11th Weigh In

I officially had my first gain.  After going 10 weeks and losing, I have gained.  Not a good day.  I shouldn't be surprised though. I had a rough week.  I had a Davannis calzone one night (did you know those were 26 points???  Me neither, until I had eaten it) I had Mexican one day, and Indian food two days.  I totally fell off the wagon.

Weight lost/gained. Gained .2 pounds
Total weight loss: 21.2

Boooooooooooo. Onto doing better in the week to come!

10th Weigh In

For the past few weigh ins, I've had a bad feeling going into it.  This week, I had a really bad feeling going into it.  My weekend was undisciplined crap.  Seriously.  I felt bad.  Guilty.  And today when I put my size 8's on (hey, at least they weren't my size 10's) they felt a little snug around the belly.

So, of course, I was very surprised to find out that I lost a decent amount of weight this week.  Yes, I am happy with this week's weight loss!

Weight Lost This Week:  2.2 Pounds
Current Weight: 152
Current BMI: 22.4
Total Weight Lost: 21.4

Total pounds to get to goal weight = 7

I honestly don't know how I lost 2.2 pounds this week.  I was very active, and didn't miss even one day of exercise, so I know that helped.  And I would say 4 or 5 days out of the 7 day week, I was pretty darn good.  But the 2 days I was bad, I was really bad.

I can't believe I've lost over 20 pounds.  This weekend, my husband and I were chatting, and he asked me if I am lying about how badly I still feel about myself.  And you know, I'm not lying, or pretending.  I don't see myself much differently at 20 pounds less.  I was expecting the change to look more drastic.  Sure, I feel a bit thinner, but I still have some things to work on on the inside.

7 pounds to go!!!

NOT a Model Client

Every week, I love reading the success stories on Weight Watchers.  It keeps me motivated to keep going with the plan.  I have in common with these people that we are losing weight.  I've lost almost 20 pounds, these people are success stories because they shed the weight.  But that is where our things in common end.  They lost weight and kept it off because they made drastic changes.  Me. . . I feel like I am constantly cheating the plan.

My weigh ins are every Tuesday.  After weigh in, I try to be good and not go over my allowed points.  Then Wednesday I try to be good, as well as Thursday.  Friday, I am good until the point that I get home from work, and then I am bad.  I open up the bottle of wine, and have too many classes, I order my favorite Indian takeout and eat a HUGE piece of the most delicious naan I've ever had.  I wake up Saturday, feeling guilty and I go for a nice walk.  I eat well all day, until dinner time comes around. My husband and I aren't big cookers, and on the weekends we like to indulge, so we usually do takeout again, and I may have a glass of wine again (or 3-4).  Sunday I become painfully aware that I have a weigh in in 2 short days.  So Sunday, I get in my 30 minutes of cardio, and I purposely try to stay until my allotted 29 points for the day, because I know I must have went severely over on Friday and Saturday.  (Although I tend to slack off from tracking on these days)  Yesterday for example, I only ate 23 points.  29 is supposedly the lowest we are ever supposed to go.  I know this, but I'm in catch up mode.  I wake up hungry on Monday, but know that if I want to see results on the scale the VERY next day, that I should probably stay below points on Monday as well.  So today for example, I'm going to try to stay at least 5 points under.  And then weigh in on Tuesday, and the cycle starts again.

I am happy with my results, but I do realize that maintenance will be hard if I keep this up.  I want to have a PERFECT week.  A week where I stick to my 29 points daily, without ever going over.  A week where I don't have to come in under points on a couple days because I was so severely over the day before. 

Tuesdays are an exciting and anxiety filled day all in one.  I am so anxious to find out my weight, but so nervous that the number won't be favorable because afterall, how many points ARE in a bottle of white wine?

I am less than 10 pounds from my goal weight. . . a weight I haven't seen on the scale in over 10 years.  I must be better.  I MUST accomplish this goal.  And I probably should quit with my wine. 

9th Weigh In

Another weigh in today.  I deinitely felt better this week than I did last week.  Last week was my worst eating week since joining the program, so this week, I stepped it up a bit.  I did very well during the weekdays, and unfortunately on the weekends I splurged a bit.  I ate Indian food (with beer and wine) on Friday.  Saturday I was CRAVING pizza and ordered a delicious pepperoni, sausage, and onion pizza and ate two large slices (with beer).  I tried to work out a lot though.  Saturday after my pizza I even went on my second workout of the day to try to make up for my habits. 

Overall, I am pleased with this week.  I know that if I stuck to the plan perfectly all 7 days of the week, it would be even better, but I don't know if I'm ready to commit to that.  I want my takeout and alcohol on the weekends.  I'm just not ready to part.

Weight Lost This Week:  1.2 Pounds
Current Weight: 154.2
Current BMI: 22.8
Total Weight Lost: 19.2

Total pounds to get to goal weight = 9.2

I am finally at less than 10 pounds to goal weight.  When I first started the program, I weighed 173.4, and I wanted my goal weight to be 140.  After I had been on the program for a few weeks, I decided that perhaps 140 was too ambitious.  I mean, that would be a total weight loss of 33.4.  Do I need to lose that much weight?  After a couple weeks on the program, I was in a healthy BMI range. What if I stopped now?  Would I be happy at my current weight?  I mean, 154.4 isn't bad, right?

Sometimes, I just don't know what I really want.  I am now comfortably fitting into size 8's.  I haven't measured inches, but I know I've lost some, especially in my butt, legs, and arms.  And perhaps around my waist as well.  Yet, I still want to be thinner.  I feel like I'm wavering a little bit.  I mean, what if I reach 145. What if I look in the mirror and still don't like what I see?  Than perhaps this isn't about my weight at all. 

Okay, I'm babbling.  For now, my goals are to weight 145 pounds and fit into a size 6.  My goal is to never see anything 150 or higher on the scale, ever again.  So, here I go!!! 

Another 9.2 pounds to go!!!

Progress

I've enjoyed taking pictures at the beginning of each month.  I'm a very visual person, and I knew that it would provide extra motivation to me if I could actually see the results of weight loss.

Here I am, starting out in early July, at 173.4 pounds.

Here I am at the beginning of the 2nd month, 4 weeks later, and about 8 pounds thinner.

And here I am, yesterday, 18 pounds thinner, and 8 weeks later.

I guess if I had to see a difference, I would say I'm less bulky, especially up top.  I can also see a collarbone, and perhaps my legs are a bit thinner.  It's amazing though, I thought 18 pounds would be more obvious.  I definitely see a difference, but not as large of a difference as I thought 18 pounds would look like. 

I'm noticing that I'm ready for smaller pants.  I wear corporate attire to my job, and my current size 10's look frumpy.  I've lost weight in my waist, which makes my pants hang more, and now they are all too long.  I've also lost some weight in my butt and my pants make it look like I have saggy butt.  Not a good look!  So, perhaps after I lose a few more pounds, I'll go searching for new pants.